As I wait for the US to “come online” I count down the minutes until my Facebook account disappears forever.
Not discontinued, but actually gone. Deleted. All trace of me removed. I feel a bit weird, but also good. Had a strange dream last night about it – cutting a line, flying out into a grey/black world like a kite let go. I could see lights down below, but I was… free? Alone, but free. I think I had wings, but I don’t remember. I looked down, not up.
Today’s the day.
I tried to give up dairy too, as I am a vegetarian (lacto-ovo… sparingly) and I know what goes down in milking sheds/factories.
But then there was macaroni cheese. Linguine pasta with creamy alfredo sauce and portobello mushrooms. Chocolate milk. Ice cream. Whipped cream on apple pie. I know it’s wrong. So very wrong.
I tried soy milk.. it was ok – but tasted weird after a while. I tried almond milk – didn’t like that at all. Even tried rice milk (nearly gagged) just so I could say I had. I’m not a vegan – I wish I had the discipline, money, time to be. But I am still a vegetarian. Some days are harder than others (I gave up meat because my conscience/heart wouldn’t allow me to enjoy it anymore, not because I don’t like the taste) and I struggle. But I’ve seen my health/body change already in just a few months of being serious about it again. Lost weight, lost fat, feel lighter and more energetic. I just get so _bored_ with the options available here. That’s what makes it difficult – lack of choice and variety.
So maybe when we move back I can get into it better.
Big things ahead. We are hopeful, after such a long time.